Why I Write a Blog#
To capture someone's attention, "you" must be interesting enough—whether through actively emitted signals or observable indicators—to draw others closer to you. Writing is both a signal and a generator of indicators. Writing articles, papers, and books requires a considerable level of ability from the author: only when their intensity of thought and level of expression meet the standard can ideas be transformed into words. Writing and thinking are interconnected yet distinct abilities.
While I certainly have the motivation of self-validation in my writing, and I feel a bit happy and vain when others praise my writing achievements, these are secondary. The purpose of Marx and Engels writing "Capital" was by no means to showcase how profound their analysis and insights into human society were. Proving one's ability is one of the outcomes of writing. Everyone has different motivations and purposes for writing. Motivation is a psychological drive that stems from inner needs, desires, or emotions, answering the question of "why do something." It can be explicit or implicit, and can be internal or external, such as interest, satisfaction, and rewards or punishments. Purpose, on the other hand, refers to the desired outcome or state that actions aim to achieve, answering the question of "what result to achieve."
The desire to express and share is my main motivation. Although "when humans think, God laughs," I will first laugh at God. Reading texts and works, engaging in extensive reading; experiencing certain events, feeling touched, and unable to resist thinking, then wanting to express and share the results of that thinking with others. This is the positive feedback mechanism of "reading/experiencing—thinking/reflection—expressing—sharing."
Writing also provides a sense of control and even mastery over life. Many things do not develop as one expects. Modern life can easily spiral out of control. Thus, one seeks a fixed anchor point to stabilize their inner self and soul (if there is one). Writing is a process that one can autonomously manage. Looking around, fame and fortune are all external possessions; only thoughts cannot be stolen or lost. Writing is an activity that does not require recognition from others; it is a source of joy, bringing peace and tranquility (even if only for a moment).
A secondary motivation is the desire to "be seen" and "be recognized," both of which are closely related to social connection and self-esteem. "Being seen" points to "a sense of existence," while "being recognized" points to "a sense of value" and "a sense of meaning."
I realized the concept of "sense of existence" early on. For society, a person's physical death is not the end of their life; "social death" is—being abandoned and forgotten, as if that person never existed. Of course, the deceased has already become part of history during their lifetime, supporting the brilliant historical figures of that era. I do not pursue physical immortality—Mao Zedong's corpse is a prime example. Even if pursued, it would be in vain. I once fantasized about this, like the story in "The Man from Earth," where one would inevitably become an alien to humanity, constantly living and dying under new identities, with the socially significant "I" becoming a wandering soul without a fixed home, similarly rejected by society. The transmission of thought and spirit achieves social immortality—Mao Zedong Thought is a prime example. I once thought of writing books to achieve this purpose, but now I no longer pursue it deliberately, though this motivation still exists.
As for the sense of value and meaning, the former points to the degree of acceptance by micro individuals and macro collectives in human society, while the latter refers to philosophical contemplation, questioning and probing into humanity, life, and even "existence" itself. The criteria for determining a sense of value are highly subjective and vague, involving both individual affirmation and collective recognition. Many self-proclaimed extraordinary individuals possess a strong self-identity at the individual level. Those engaged in public welfare and charity are more likely to gain recognition at the collective level. Striving for the liberation of all humanity will receive dual affirmation from individuals and collectives. The contemplation of meaning is even more subjective, with religion, philosophy, and science providing different answers. Philosophically, Socrates stated in "Apology" that an unexamined life is not worth living; Pascal proposed in "Man is a Thinking Reed" that human greatness comes from thought—I only feel "alive" when I think.
My writing has two main purposes:
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To extract information from vast amounts of material, filter and structure that information into knowledge, and systematize knowledge into insights and wisdom—"Material—Information—Knowledge—Insight and Wisdom." Gradually abstracting information and logically constructing a new information system based on causal relationships.
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To freely convey information and share knowledge, providing public goods of information. I hope my writing can help others. While it may not be as grand as "preaching" or "teaching," "resolving doubts" is also good.
Therefore, the blog is primarily a vessel for the writing process and secondarily a platform for presenting and preserving writing results. My blog resembles a “digital garden” and a reading platform. Once, I was obsessed with the "perfectionism" of "finishing writing before publishing," leaving articles with low completion rates in the draft box. Later, I came across Kaffa's blog, let go of my obsession, and began to place both drafts and results on the blog to share my shallow and structured thoughts with everyone.
Another significance of blogging is escaping external scrutiny. "Escaping" implies the existence of "scope" and "boundaries," where the scope refers to the physical territory and cyberspace of mainland China, and the boundaries refer to borders and the GFW; "external" is contrasted with internality, leaving only self-scrutiny. Apart from the chaotic times of the Republic of China, the era of political oligarchic authoritarianism in China is often accompanied by strict and specific speech censorship. Speech censorship is essentially thought censorship. Superficial criticism will not be met with difficulties from the court but rather praised, demonstrating the court's dedication to the welfare of the people. Once one criticizes the irrationality of autocratic rule, or even completely denies it, they will face ruthless backlash, being arrested and imprisoned, or facing execution. Today, it is not autocratic rule, but rather a "party" authoritarianism that far surpasses the past. The modern proletariat in China has no political representatives or organized group forces on the political stage, which is quite terrifying and sad. The proletarians lack their own unions, groups, media, institutions, and political parties... In short, there are no organizations that represent their interests. Any public attempt to form a tight organization not permitted by the "party" will be stifled in its infancy.
When I was tinkering with my personal website in 2021, I learned about "personal blogs" and thought having my own website was a cool thing. Thus, in 2022, I legally established a personal blog, and in 2023, I joined the "Ten-Year Agreement" and "Personal Station Store" blog platforms. Later, I published a narrative about my university experience during the pandemic on the blog; I reposted NetEase News's “The Past and Present of the Prime Minister's Press Conference”, which led to a call from the Cyberspace Administration of China to remove the article. I complied. Before establishing my personal blog, I was already aware of the censorship of creators' expressions on commercial social platforms in mainland China, as well as the serious issues with the "prior approval, then establish" model for blog establishment and operation. I am interested in history, political economy, and political science, and cannot help but express sharp opinions. Therefore, after that phone call, I decided to establish my blog outside mainland China. Due to the sensitivity of the article's content, I also voluntarily withdrew from Chinese blog platforms in mainland China to avoid drawing fire upon myself.
As for the blog's viewership, I am not particularly concerned. If someone reads it, I will be happy. If someone interacts, I will be delighted. If no one reads or interacts, I will not feel "talented but unrecognized," or "not seeing the mountain," but rather have a more "whatever" attitude—after all, my original intention was not to chase the feeling of "being noticed." Since I chose a blog platform instead of social media, the audience will naturally be smaller. However, the blog surpasses social media, as mentioned earlier, in terms of ease of sharing and lack of enforced censorship; I mainly value this point.
If I Stop Writing My Blog#
If my blog has not been updated for more than three months, please assume I am in a "quantum superposition state" of being arrested, ill, or deceased.
As mentioned above, my motivation for blogging is "writing," and the prerequisites for reading and thinking are being mentally clear and having access to reading materials. The prerequisites for writing and blogging are having paper and pen tools and internet-connected computer devices, such as a phone or computer. Therefore, when I am awake and able to move freely, with a phone or computer, I will definitely update.